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30

Sep

the boy you are in love with less than a month before your seventeenth birthday does not speak to you for four days while having sex with girls you are always going to compare yourself to from now on
maybe it’s because your eyes are too small and your hair is stupid
maybe it’s because the sun rises and you do not know what you believe in when you pray to whoever will listen
maybe it’s because you reread books and crush yourself on adjectives
maybe it’s because he’s across the country and doesn’t realize you are real beyond his computer screen
maybe it’s because he doesn’t realize you’re writing this falling apart inside
your chest has fucking hypothermia and your lips are chapped and bleeding
maybe he doesn’t realize you’re writing this and for the first time you hate him
maybe he doesn’t realize you’re listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Maps on repeat
maybe he doesn’t care
maybe he never did
poets are liars but I swear to god I’m dying inside I hate you I hate you fuck you for not loving me
Once, someone put their hands
on me and since then all hands
have claws. All hands are red.
Yesterday someone held the
door open for me for no reason
and I ran all the way home;
there’s no such thing as being
too careful anymore. Once,
someone put their hands on
me and I forgot what
kindness was.
anne, monster epidemic (via glorious—headfuck)

29

Sep

He’d never cared much for strawberries, but that summer her lips were so stained with the juices that they were all he tasted.

And he’d never had a favourite fruit, but two years later, a new girl is sat in front of him, laughing at his jokes.

"If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?" She asks playfully.

And he remembers how her hands traced the veins in his neck and made their way across his chest. He remembers her soft breathing and limbs draped across his shoulders.

"Strawberries." He tells her. "I could live a life on nothing but strawberries."

Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #54 -"Strawberries" (via blossomfully)

1. wash your hair. It’s been 2 weeks since you’ve gotten out of bed. you’re crying too hard for a boy who doesn’t know that when you were born the doctors found stars in your bloodstream.

2. cheap liquor that tastes like peaches and bleach numbs the pain but it leaves you throwing up and I’m not going to hold your hair back so you can drink him down but he’ll come back up and burn your throat all over again.

3. He’s not worth the black outs and shaky hands. Eat something. He’s just a boy who pulled you in too deep. You don’t need him to save you. Get yourself out.

4. Latch your heart shut. save the key for a boy who wouldn’t mind picking the lock and make him give it back when he leaves, you are a hurricane, not a stitched up chest that he can rip open and let bleed every time he’s bored or misses your voice.

5. Wear the dress you wore on your first date with him every night this week. Make new memories in it so you don’t see him every time you open your closet. Leave it smelling like new boys wrapped around you and pretty girls kissing your cheek with red lipstick and cigarettes and city lights instead of him. You don’t fucking need him.

6. A hot bubble bath, tea, chocolate, a blank sheet of paper and paint can fix things for a night. I hope your bedroom becomes an art gallery. I hope you paint the walls and not your skin.

7. I still have love letters from my first boyfriend in the attic. You might not forget him but you sure as hell won’t always miss him. I won’t let you.

8. Sleep on the floor when your bed feels too empty without him. I’ll bring you extra pillows and blankets.

9. I’m sure he’s heart broken over you.

10. No, she’s not prettier than you baby girl, she’s nothing special.

11. I raised you to be the ocean not pools of blood on your sleeves.

12. He is not the same person you fell in love with. He doesn’t need your voice to fall asleep anymore and that’s okay. You’re in love with a stranger now. You don’t know him. He’s not the boy you kissed last weekend. So let him go. You’re not letting go of the boy you fell asleep with 3 months ago. You’re letting go of someone who doesn’t care if you fall asleep crying or not.

13. Don’t let him wipe away your tears. His fingers are razorblades and your cheeks will drip with blood. Don’t let him turn your freckles red.

14. You are the world. He’s lucky that you let him live in you for so long but he hasn’t been paying rent. Kick him out. He doesn’t deserve you.

15. You will find someone else to give yourself to, but not all of you, keep some for yourself.

Things alcoholic mothers tell their dying daughters (via extrasad)

(Source: slone)

28

Sep

Anonymous said: Yay you for being you~ that person who is you is stupendous and radiant. <3

Thank you!

Anonymous said: Now! Haha. I wish :( you're awesome to talk to BTW.

You are too! Come off anon, maybe? I’ll respond privately. c:

Wait for someone who tells strangers about you.
Vodka thoughts #1 (via blossomfully)

Anonymous said: I'm game. When ya wanna do this. Then we can shop once equal rights are reached along with a budget surplus.

Whenever’s a good time for you works for me!

Anonymous said: I'm a libertarian trans-female still living as a male so it's a blast in crazy conservative Wisconsin.

Can we just banish conservatives? They drive me crazy.