Daddy says, “go out and get a boyfriend” probably somebody with eyes like a stingray probably somebody that builds things probably somebody who would go bald by thirty
but daddy her eyes are better than poetry and i think my ears are addicted to how she sings in the shower while water holds her curves the way my fingers always want to and i’m fucking obsessed with how she’ll laugh while kissing you because she just thought of a joke she’s heard and she lets me cook dinner even when i burn it and when she curls up next to me i finally feel like i’m home and maybe we don’t have much between us but our love is a running start and maybe she can’t fix a car
but she sure as hell healed my heart.
Anonymous said: Did u delete ur IG
Um, yeah. I did.
Anonymous said: Keep on being you. It makes me happy to see someone so passionate about the things they believe in. It makes me happy to see someone so beautiful realize that the world is not as beautiful as they, so they try to fix it. It makes me happy that this generation of men, women, and any other gender is willing to stand tall and make a difference. Thank you dear.
1. I don’t want to be begged. I am turned on by a steady affection, an unwavering rationality. I want you to do my taxes please memorize my social security number darling
2. Be careful be careful be careful I am sharp in unexpected places I will remember your mother’s name and kiss your earlobe and drizzle fingers down your spine but I will also spit poison in your mouth, set fire to your childhood. I will erase you from my mind, snubbed out like a match in the wind but I will still sometimes send you pretty pictures of me and smile at the thought of you wondering why, furrowing a brow and remembering the night I told you you were special. did my eyes shimmer with sarcasm then? did my lips taste like spite?
3. I want to be touched oh do I want to be touched I will curl beneath your fingers, arch and writhe like burning twigs deep in the embers I will shrink beneath you I will let myself revel in feeling small if only for a moment. I will construct castles on your skin for touching me like that, for a moment I will see you like a world unto itself for a moment with your fingers on my stomach you will be invincible
4. I am more in love with myself than I am with you. I want to hear myself gasp I want you to keep noise to a minimum.
5. I am not smooth. I have a scar on my knee from the time I fell down the stairs to impress my father I have a scar on my back from the time my skin tried to kill me and had to be cut out (did it scream? make a last ditch attempt?) I have a scar on my lip from something that must have been stressful I have a scar I have a scar I have a scar… I have stretch marks on my thighs from when they grew thick like tree trunks to keep me up and fuzz running down my stomach reminding me that I am warm blooded. I have freckles and divots, dents and bruises, I am not smooth but I am warm and sometimes I can feel like home
6. I am like a newborn baby feeling with my mouth if you don’t stop me I may swallow you whole tasting, tasting, tasting. I like when you taste like human, salty with nervousness and desire.
7. I am not meek I am not timid I will push you down I will bite you and bruise you and you will only be allowed to cradle me, delicate, delicate
8. I need you to want me or I am not interested. I need you coiled up under your skin like a cobra on the attack I need your fingers itching, twitching for the curve of my hips I need you to feel like your chest is swelling, like your lips will whither up and die if they don’t land on my skin. I need your eyes heavy, heavy, heavy with want I need you gravitating towards me. Then I will look at you.
9. Inside I am softer. Inside I am poems and heavy summer rain and the time I tried to rescue a baby bird who fell from a tree outside my dirty brownstone in Brooklyn. If you are good enough you can see a little of that. If you are sweet enough you can swing open the doors. If you are broken enough I will cup you in my hands like that little bird and bring you inside and try to feed you mashed up fruit maybe this time I won’t end up burying you in my tiny backyard under fake grass with a styrofoam headstone, “lightening, taken from us too soon”
I let men I do not care about burn the fabric from my body
I have never known shelter
and shoulders that I kiss as if I care for them
my parents call me a train wreck on days I cry too hard
they think I am getting better
they do not think of me as a specimen
to mark pure or otherwise
but I know I am not pure
I tell men what I want them to do to me
anticipation is something I may as well thrive on
they speak as if they want me
I am so empty
brimming with the need to feel needed
my validation comes from those who want to share my bed
and leave me in the
I let men I do not care about burn the fabric from my body
there is nothing left
You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.
You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.
If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.
Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.
Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.
Anonymous said: What's your work out routine? Also, are you a vegetarian?
I don’t work out. I mean, I have to walk around at my job, but I’m not an active person. I am a vegetarian.